Pocket Prayer: Scripture for Pondering

Scripture for Pondering: Lectio Divina and Pocket Prayer

 

In my prayer experience each day I choose to read the scripture that is cited in the common lectionary, which is a selection of Hebrew Scriptures and New Testament writings, chosen by a small prayerful group of people for use world-wide. Each week there is a different combination of scriptures and each season of the church year the scripture aligns with that particular season. If you have any interest in following the lectionary, the web site that I use is http://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/ I print out the portion for the next two months and put it in my Bible.

The way I choose to use the scripture is two fold. The first is called Lectio Divina, or divine reading. It is an ancient way to pray with scripture by settling in more deeply to a small portion of scripture. I will describe my own version of this process which goes something like this: I read the assigned scripture and just let one verse or word surface for me, one that especially calls to me or seems to stand out in some way. Then I quietly stay with that phrase or verse or word and see what comes to my mind or what feelings emerge. I ask God to show me what this means and how it relates to my life. Then I stay quiet to see what else emerges. Lastly I write about it in my journal and thank God for giving this to me. If you want a more formal version of Lectio you can google it and find the exact steps. There is even a video describing how to do it on uTube.

The second thing I do is called my “pocket prayer.” I just write one word or a phrase that has really stood out to me on a small card. I put it somewhere that I will notice it, like in my calendar or in my purse or on a mirror or in a pocket. I just want to stay with this one word or phrase and see what happens in my life, see what else comes up that will illuminate this word in my life. Sometimes I keep just one verse for months, even years. I’ve been living with one verse for more than ten year now and I still see it moving in my life.

 

So I invite you to use either a lectio or a pocket prayer.

I will list several of my “stand out” verses from the lectionary of the last year or so, randomly, to see if any of them stand out for you. If they do, use them. If not, let them go. They are all from The Message translation by Eugene Peterson. I use that version because I find it authentic and the language more accessible. I won’t list the scripture references because I am illustrating how to use them just for the word or phrase, not for further scripture reading. Enjoy and learn…

 

A whole healed put together life right now.

 

Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

 

Your fidelity, a roof over our heads.

 

Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

 

Keep company with me and you’ll learn how to live freely and lightly.

 

God’s spirit beckons.

 

Vibrant beauty has gotten inside of us.

 

And the verse I’ve lived with now for several years is this: And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land; then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken, and I have done it, says the Lord.

 

Reflections on this piece:

Which verse or words stand out for you? Why?

What deeper meaning do they have in your life?

What pocket word will you take with you?

How is God calling you to a deeper place of intimacy with Him?

 

The Poor in Spirit: Why are they Blessed?

The Poor in Spirit; Why are They Blessed?

I’ve been intrigued with the Beatitudes in Matthew’s Gospel (Matthew 5) all of my adult life. I think my interest comes from the challenge that Jesus is extending to us, to be so counter cultural, so unrealistic, maybe even unhealthy. The three beatitudes that bother me—or perhaps intrigue me—the most are blessed are those who mourn, blessed are those who are persecuted for my name’s sake, and the ultimate one, blessed are the poor in spirit. I’ve always wondered about this one. What does it mean to be poor in spirit and how can that be blessed?

After years of experiencing the pilgrimage we call the inner life I have found some kindred spirits throughout history who describe rather profoundly what it is like to be poor in spirit. People like Teresa of Avila, Evelyn Underhill, Macrina Weideker, Ignatius of Loyola, Barbara Brown Taylor and Jean Vanier all speak of the journey of being poor in spirit in words that are simple and yet profound. I find their words best summed up this way: self-emptying.

Macrina Weideker’s description send chills down my spine whenever I hear it. She says, in an excerpt from her poem, Blessed are the Poor in Spirit,
Being poor in spirit means
having nothing to call your own,
except your own poverty.
It is a joyful awareness of your emptiness.
It is the soil of opportunity
for God has space to work
in emptiness that is owned.

Being poor in spirit means
knowing that you are so small
and dependent
needy and powerless
that you live with an open heart
waiting to be blessed.
For only then can you be blessed
If you know
that you need blessing.

Jesus is our ultimate role model for self-emptying. He gave up equality with God, the writer of Philippines tells us (Phil. 2:3-7). He emptied himself, was born in human form and became obedient to the point of giving up his life. It’s hard for me to read these words yet they are so inspiring. I want to let go of the illusion of control in my life. I want to live a smaller, simpler and more meaningful life. I want to live with an open heart and open hands. I long to feel blessed. I know I need blessing. But it is so hard to live into this in a culture that values all of the opposites of what I long for. I need daily reminders and a lot of support from kindred spirits just to stay focused on wanting to live these desires.

Just recently I had a vivid reminder that I am not yet able to take everything in stride because it is not mine to control. I thought I had sold my condo. A woman had been to see it several times, emailing me for more details. She had offered to rent it with a large deposit until she could sell her own home. I thought we were well on the way to closure. Then I got an email saying she had found another condo that fit her needs better. This jarred me and I slipped into fear and dread.

Why was this so upsetting? Well first, it was just plain disappointing. But more than that, I had orchestrated this deal so that I could move when I wanted to and get a particular apartment. So I had it all completed in my mind. This really upset my plans. And beneath that there was also another truth.

I really don’t trust God. In fact, I am afraid of God.

I can see this truth as my cutting edge in life. Can I trust God? Do I believe God is there for me, that God will care for me, find me worthy to be loved? When I calm down and reflect, I have had dozens of examples of ways in which God is there for me, cares for me, seeks me out to show me how cherished I am, whether I feel worthy or not. Yet I still need reminders, especially when the unexpected happens. This condo sale is a way for me to simplify, to get smaller, to move closer to the heart of God, to self-empty; yet some part of me is afraid that I might lose myself completely, so that part of me fights to hold on, to get control.

Only God can help me with this dilemma. Only God can soothe me to the point where self-emptying feels holy and where dependency feels sacred. Only God can bless my emptiness and show me the way to God’s heart and a new way of living my life, a life of love.

Henri Nouwen puts into words what I am longing to experience in my emptiness.
It is very hard to allow emptiness in our lives. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God’s actions in our lives, it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. Let’s pray that we can let go of our fear of God and embrace God as the source of all love.

Maybe the secret to moving forward in faith, no matter where we are, is to ask God to help us even to let go of our fear of God. That may seem risky but it also feels like the beginning of a new adventure. After all Jesus did say, “Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Self-emptying brings us into the kingdom. Self-emptying connects us in community at deeper levels than we can describe. Community is the kingdom on earth. When I am open to love, to my poverty, to my need for blessing, I am in that kingdom community which is my deepest hearts desire. I’m not afraid of God when I experience that community– and I’m no longer bothered by that beatitude.

© Janet O. Hagberg, 2009. All rights reserved.
Macrina’s poem excerpt is from Tree Full of Angels and Nouwen’s quote is from his book, Gracias.

Reflections on this essay
What does poor in spirit mean to you?

Which line in Macrina’s poem most resonates with you? Why?

Do you trust God? How do you know that?

Are you afraid of God? How do you know that?

When does self-emptying feel holy and dependence feel sacred for you?