Blessing Janet, by Barry Thomas

Blessing Janet (and Others in Your Life)

In their book The Critical Journey, Robert A. Guelich and our beloved Janet O. Hagberg write, “Those who have been through this stage (The Journey Inward Stage) themselves and may be specially trained in spiritual direction, spiritual formation, or pastoral counseling are unique people and are to be sought out.”

In 2004 that is exactly what I did. I sought out Janet Hagberg. I wanted to learn from her wisdom, her experiences and her heart. And she responded. I met with her and a friendship was born. Over the last 12 years, Janet has been a tremendous source of encouragement and inspiration. She models the relationship with God I want to have. She has served as a mentor and guide through a transformational way of living. And my guess is she has done the same for you in some way…through this blog, her website (http://www.janethagberg.com/), her books, her teaching, her ministry or through her everyday way of life.

This is my last blog entry for At River’s Edge, so I want to take the opportunity to invite any of you who has been blessed by Janet to return the favor and send her a blessing. The best way to do this is through her website: http://www.janethagberg.com/contact.html. Let her know what it is you appreciate about her or her ministry.

I’ll go first:

Janet,

I appreciate your willingness to help people grow and heal. I appreciate the way you not only listen to God, but surrender to His voice. I appreciate the way you live simply and modestly which opens you up to God even more. I appreciate your listening ears. And I appreciate your friendship and encouragement.

 

Speaking of blessings…

Is it more difficult for you to give a blessing or receive a blessing? Here is what I have noticed about myself when it comes to blessings:

• It is more difficult for me to receive blessings than to give them. Receiving a blessing has been an area of growth for me. The more I see myself as being loved by God, the more I am able to receive blessings from God and others.
• Sometimes it is difficult for me to give blessings verbally especially if I think the person is “fishing” for a compliment or acknowledgement in some way.
• Giving a blessing verbally can feel vulnerable for me.
• I am much better at giving blessings in written form through cards, emails and text messages than through verbally speaking them. For me it feels safer and the words I write are more thought out and meaningful.

My wife and I used to read to our kids each night from a book of blessings called Bless your Children Every Day by Dr. Mary Ruth Swope. It is full of simple blessings to read over your kids in areas such as courage, abundance, abilities, a free spirit, humility, and much, much more. Our kids ate it up! They craved the times we read from the book. And after a while, my wife and I started making up our own personal blessings for the kids. I highly recommend this practice for parents.

The most common “mistake” made when giving a blessing is when the blessing is limited to praise for accomplishments, achievements and a job well done. It is more important to praise someone (anyone, not just your kids) for WHO they are, not for what they DO. The easiest way to do this is to think of character traits you see in the other person. If you are like me, it helps to have a cheat sheet. Character First is a curriculum that teaches on 49 different character traits. So here is what I do: I cheat. I look at the list of 49 character traits and pick a couple or a few (sometimes I may only see one) from the list that I see in that person. Click here to see the list and definitions: http://www.characterfirst.com/assets/CFDefinitions.pdf

So now I encourage you to practice giving a blessing. Give a blessing to Janet. Give a blessing to your loved ones, Give a blessing to your friends.

In fact, I dare you to try an experiment!

The Experiment

1. Select one person to bless this week.
2. Look at the list of 49 traits and pick 3 traits that are exhibited in the person you selected.
3. Choose a way to deliver the blessing: speaking it verbally; writing it in a card, a note, an email or a text.
4. Start the blessing by saying, “I appreciate you because you are ___________________.”
5. Notice what goes on inside your heart after giving the blessing.
6. Notice how the relationship with that person changes over the next few days or weeks after giving the blessing.

I pray that this exercise is a powerful experience for you.

Barry Thomas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Whining: Reflections on Jonah’s Dilemma

No Whining: Reflections on Jonah’s Dilemma

Before reading this essay, please consider reading the very short book of Jonah, in the Hebrew scripture. It is right there next to Obadiah and MicahJ

I hate to admit this, but I really can identify with Jonah. He resists God’s call over and over again, simply because he wants his own way. He even puts the lives of his fellow shipmates in danger because of his disobedience. And then when he finally agrees to take the incredible journey God has in store for him and he successfully completes his mission at Ninevah, he whines to God that God did not grant him this success with his own people in his homeland. Even when God provides a large vine to give him comfort and then withers the same plant, Jonah can only find pity for the plant and not for the people of Ninevah. He seems totally oblivious to God’s provisions for him. God has blessed his life and his mission and is giving him more. And yet Jonah can do nothing but whine.

Jonah seems caught up in his small vision of his life, caught up in his own needs and, some would say, in petty feelings. After the two great miracles; living for three days in the belly of a fish and successfully saving Ninevah from destruction, he is still angry because God didn’t do things his way. So in the end Jonah seems like a pathetic but familiar character. He’s so pathetic that I find humor in his consistently whiney behavior.

I find humor that is, until I look at the Jonah-like experiences in my own life. One area of Jonah-likeness in my life is in my way of overlooking what God has done for me. I have had so many wonderful gifts from God and yet it is sometimes easier to focus on my petty grievances.  In my plan to move to an inner city neighborhood near where I go to church, I was lamenting that my condo was not selling, even though it was the worst market in decades, and I was a bit peeved, since this move represented a surrender of my life style and a lot of my “stuff,” a process that was showing me a new freedom I’d never felt. This self-emptying was drawing me closer to God. I felt this move was a calling and yet the selling process became frustrating and anxiety producing. I had a few committed buyers yet no sale. I thought I was doing all the right things and yet nothing was working out.

God stopped me in my tracks and put the sale process on hold, but kept showing me how to live more simply, reminding me of all the incredible deepening experiences we had been through together. It wasn’t this move that would change me, it was God who would change me. God had changed the nature of my work, brought me more meaning and joy, shifted my identity, healed me from unhealthy relationships, granted me deep gifts in prayer, brought me incredible new friends from the margins of society, graced me with new levels of creativity, and provided me freedom from fear of financial insecurity. All these were sheer gifts, and most of them were transformational. Until I could appreciate all of this, it would be useless for me to more forward to any new life.

Whenever I whine and then realize, with chagrin, how faithful and present God is for me, I’m reminded of a powerful painting of Jonah by He Qi, an inspired artist. His paintings shimmer with vibrant color and meaning. In his painting of Jonah’s story he captures the moment that the shipmates are tossing Jonah overboard. Jonah is large, as large as the ship, but beneath it. As you look more closely at the painting, there is another figure that nearly dominates the whole scene, an angelic looking figure above the boat watching over the tragic event at its worst point. He Qi captures the essence of the story for me, that God is there, even at the worst times, working in me and with me, whether I am aware or not, and even when I am whining.

Now when I think about whining, which I still do, I try to embrace my Jonah-likeness and treat myself kindly, perhaps even smiling inwardly when I realize how like Jonah I am. And I also try to reach out to others during these times so I practice compassion for others who have difficulties far worse than mine at the moment.  This is one of God’s finest traits, compassion for us. It is something we can always count on and always draw from, no matter what. At the very end of the Jonah story God reminds Jonah of this compassion and faithfulness with these words, “You have pity on the plant…Should I not also pity Ninevah?”

© Janet O. Hagberg, 2009. All rights reserved.

If you would like to see the painting of Jonah by He Qi go to this web address and look for # 48in the gallery, Jonah. http://www.heqigallery.com/shop/gallery_OT_A.html

 

Reflections on this essay

What do you whine most about?

What gifts from God are you overlooking as you whine?

How does whining affect you and your journey?

How do you show compassion for yourself when you are whining?

What art or story or music reminds you of God’s presence?